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June 26 10 pm

Dear Nyi,
               Now my heart even knows the time. At the right time, it becomes so empty and so tight.
Nyi, I am now becoming calmer than the other days, but still, I miss you a lot. Although I suffer from this feeling like I am falling into the black hole, I think I am doing good. I know you ignore my messages intentionally. It would be better for me too. I should not long for you this bad. I have to do other things, I have to go into the outer world and face the reality.
               By the way Nyi, I got up early this morning for my GRE and TOEFL class, it took me one and a half hour to reach there. Sayar seems nice and decent, and way of his teaching is really good. It is 2 hour longed one by one session. Maths and English and all about the essay writing. I will be sure to have great scores on these exams. I will try my best. A part of me is with you and I won’t destroy your image and love on me. I promise not to do anything that will make your image bad. I love you.
               I got caught in the rain and feels a bit tired for today and also so many works to do. My eyes are like carrying two big stones on each side. Should I take a rest Nyi?

I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so fuckin' special
I wish I was special
But I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo.
What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here.i?
The song we listened together and those lyrics reflect how I feel for you right now.







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